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May 10th, 2006

12:12 am: wow!
I am living a romantic comedy and it's weird and funny and new and strange and confusing and overall wonderful...I think.

May 6th, 2006

10:47 am: It's metaphorically raining!!!
Alisa got her groove back...that is all:) Oh and Indian boys with exotic names and gorgeous smiles are hot!!!

April 30th, 2006

03:39 pm: Still afraid of heights...
So this weekend was pretty sweet. On friday I helped my buddy Lisa get ready for her formal with her boyfriend and I had hair and makeup duties. I also went out with the guy that I am psuedo seeing and we went to Mckeldin Mall and just sat and talked by the fountain. The weather was absolutely perfect. Then he turned to me and said, "it would be great if we could lay down" and I said, "yeah, but I don't want to lay on the grass in my clothes and it's not like we have a blanket." All of a sudden he whips out a blanket out of his bookbag and it was a sweet gesture. So we lay there for a while soaking up the sun and talking and despite the fact that he is absolutely perfect for me in every way, I am not feeling the spark and there HAS to be a spark. So maybe that means he isn't so perfect for me. Plus I have finals coming up and I really don't want anything or anyone interfering with that. I just want to finish off the year without anymore boy drama because I had enough of that to last me a WHILE. Anyway, then I just stayed in and watched movies. Saturday was Maryland day so there were a million events going on all over campus and every single college and program was represented. Plus there was a lot of free stuff and we made the largest strawberry shortcake in the world. I believe it was 16 by 24 feet and it served 50,000 people. Then my friends Lisa, Rob, and I came back to the dorm and took a FOUR hour nap until 7:30. Afterwards, I got dressed up and we went to dinner and then were walking back on campus and we saw a car had flipped over because the douchebag driver was drunk. Thankfully no one was hurt, not even him. Then around 1 am I was like, "lets go to the top of Byrd stadium" and so Lisa, Rob, Rob's roommate Desmond, and I went to the stadium, we walked through the open gate and got on the elevator. (You would think that we would have had to go through a lot more in order to trespass but UMD apparently wants us to go up there). Then we had to climb the final set of stairs to the nosebleed seats and I hyperventilated the whole way because my fear of heights is stronger than ever. I just refused to look down until I got to the very top and was actually sitting. The view was indescribable. We could see the washington monument and the capital and I just felt invincible. It felt like that moment in Garden State where they are standing on the truck near the quarry and it is raining. It was definitely something that I won't soon forget if ever at all. We sat there for maybe 20 minutes and then started our descent. I'm not gonna lie, I was happy to be back on the ground. Then today, I woke up at 10 something and now am proceeding to write four papers for my Anthropology extra credit due tomorrow. I am still a huge procrastinator but hey, at least it gets done to the best of my ability. Alright, well I better clean my room and get back to work...peace out playas!

Current Mood: hungryhungry

April 27th, 2006

11:33 pm: Intelligence and level-headedness won!
So...I didn't go to the bar. I'm too tired and sick and I have to study for this quiz and I like this guy as just a friend and he...well...doesn't so it would suck to be a douchebag and lead someone on because he is a sweetheart and doesn't deserve it. Goodnight:)

Current Mood: tiredtired
09:18 pm: What am I thinking?
So it's thursday and I have a quiz tomorrow but I think I am going to go to the bar tonight and see my friend Matt. Probably not the best idea because I have class at 9 tomorrow but I feel like being spontaneous so we'll see...I have been working really hard this week so I figure I deserve a break and hell, it IS thursday so I shouldn't feel guilty. Right?? Oy veh, I wouldn't have thought twice about going to bars or clubs on weeknights last semester but I am responsible and on task again so I feel like I shouldn't...but I will. Have fun everyone:)

Current Mood: guiltyguilty

April 26th, 2006

07:50 am: Good morning!
It is currently 7:51 am and I am up writing a philosophy paper, which is due at 12. For some reason, I have a really hard time concentrating at night and therefore I am usually up ridiculously early doing my work because I can focus a lot better. This week I have a lot of work to do because I am already feeling the pressure of finals creeping up on me like an ominous storm cloud. I am trying really hard to keep my shit together and do a good job of staying on track but life tends to get in the way. However, finals were ruined last semester because of a certain douchebag someone and so I promised myself that no one would get in the way this semester. The nice guy that I am sort of seeing promised me that he wouldn't get in the way of my finals so that makes me happy. In other news, I met the author Jennifer Weiner last week and realized that my calling may very well be writing modern chick lit. Granted, it won't get me respect and recognition in the upper echelon writing circles but I could seriously care less about that. It amazed me how real and genuine she was and how easy she was to talk to (I got to ask her two questions, yay). This week, Anthony Rapp from RENT is coming and doing a question/answer forum so I might go to that as well. The school is so huge that we always have people coming in and out so I try to research in advance who is coming. These events aren't even publicized properly. Anyway, I took a break from my paper to write this and I am realizing now that might have been a bust because I did not really write anything of any significance or interest so I will try again later. Bye:)

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful

April 22nd, 2006

11:45 pm: Guess who's back? Back again...
Well, it's been a really long time since I have written anything on here and there is no valid explanation for why that is except that I don't really have the urge to write my thoughts down when I am at school. I was just re-reading a post I made on April 22, 2005 and it's just incredible how much a person can change in a year. I feel like I have crammed five years of experiences into one and while that is a good thing, it also feels so strange because I can't rely on naivete or innocence anymore. Granted, I am still pretty innocent by college park standards. I hate having to care about guys that hurt me because inside I know that if they don't call they aren't interested. Hell, I read "He's just NOT that into you" but it still hurts when something you know was right ends up backfiring in your face. There are two things that I am sure of now: Every guy is both an asshole and gay until he proves me otherwise. And also, it hurts less when it is the latter because at least they can be your shopping buddy and tell you when your ass looks fat. Assholes will just use you and never call and make you feel cheap even though you're a pretty classy broad. Whatever, it really is pointless to dwell when I should be exuding my energy on more positive things such as studying, working out, and working on the tv station. My classes this semester have been going pretty well and I really like comm 250 (theory of theory) as well as my intro to poetry class even though I learned most of it in ninth grade. I have changed my ways and am no longer going out and partying every night like I did first semester. I didn't even recognize the girl I became first semester. It was almost as though someone had caged me in a small liberal arts high school with a fairly high population of homosexual guys and a huge ass workload that prevented me from having much of a life and then I came to college and just went crazy...oh wait... Anyway, this semester I am more focused and my perfectionist tendencies have definitely returned. Even though I got screwed over by the guy that I was attracted to, there is another guy who is incredibly sweet and is definitely interested but as of now I just don't feel any spark or electricity. He's actually learning Russian phrases and I think I would have completely fallen head over heels for him if it was a different time in my life but I'm just not feeling anything. However, the guy who I hooked up with last week, I have a LOT of feelings for but he got what he wanted and has obviously moved on. Such is life. I think that I just want to be single for a while and focus on myself. I know that sounds selfish, but believe me, I don't do it often. I just need to take care of my health, my body, and my studies. Everything else will hopefully fall into place when the time comes. I am being nauseatingly optimistic but I don't care because I have to tell myself this in order for me to feel good about the place that I am currently stuck in. I really miss you guys and CANNOT wait for us to have a lit girl reunion in the summer. We need a bottle of wine, some food, and hours and hours of catching up because it has DEFINITELY been a while. I miss you all and welcome you back to my LJ updated life. Goodnight:)

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Imogen Heap-The moment I said it

September 7th, 2005

03:38 pm: COLLEGE
Yes, I am aware the college entry is a bit late but I have just been too busy or maybe too restless to write anything down. My favorite classes are by far film, dance, and communication and even though the film class is from 6-10 at night, it's totally worth it. Except walking 20 minutes back by myself is sketchy so I need to find a film buddy who lives on North campus. Another thing, this fucking campus is endless. It's cool but sometimes overwhelming. Like, it's pretty overwhelming when I have to run from the performing arts center (amazing place) to Mckeldin mall in 10 minutes even though they are a good 15-20 minutes apart. And it's probably overwhelming for the poor kid that sits next to me in psych because I am all sweaty from my dance workout followed by my getting to class workout. Oy! But other than that, I really love college and the girls on my floor are awesome as are the guys and I have done more random, fun, things here in a week then I think I have in my entire life. It's just wonderful but I'm going home this weekend to see the 'rents and to study properly because it's hard to study when there are a million and one things going on. I miss everyone but I'll see you all soon and I love you all but I gotta run to my audition. Are you happy Emily? Love all around!

Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: The Fugees-Killing me softly

May 30th, 2005

05:00 pm: because someone *cough* told me to update
Hello ya'll...yes I said "ya'll"...and in a Russian accent. You just can't beat that. Anyway, tomorrow I, Alisa Michelle Averbukh, graduate high school. We all doubted whether or not I could do it but it has happened. Oy, this has been one of the best weekends ever. Prom was just insanely good. I would go into details but it would take forever. I felt such a sense of Carver closure and I realized truly and genuinely how much I love all you fuckers. Oh now I'm going to cry. *tear*. Saturday I got to detox a bit by sleeping until 1 and then sunday, I went to the Belvedere (the same room where we had prom...ah, memories) to help my dad film. I was sitting there and the guy at the bar (who was 23) started flirting with me and told me how I was the "best looking helper" he had ever seen and we shook hands and I was pimping the drinks ALL night. So I got home around 1 a.m, crashed, and now am about to read more Amy Tan. Is it bad that I have started doing my college shopping? I'm not going overboard, just taking care of the little things. Alright well this is a sufficient update for now so drop me a line if you feel inspired:)

Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Simple Minds- Don't you (forget about me)

May 7th, 2005

02:27 pm: relieved, sort of
Not a very busy weekend...I have work today and tomorrow I have mother's day brunch. I am probably going to do Fuqua's assignments on monday as I am not in the mood to write. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends and if you want to talk, I'll have my cell on tonight. That is all in the exciting life of Alisa the screwup:)

Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: Garbage-Special
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